I got sent this by BG yesterday and thoroughly enjoyed it – if you’re Greek, or even half-Greek, or even know someone Greek you’ll enjoy this. I’m so getting my dad to read this on Christmas Day, he’ll get a real kick out of it.
If you know the original source of this let me know and I’ll give credit.
T’was the night before Hristouyenna and all through the spiti
I could smell fasolatha & pasticho through my miti.
Pandofles were hung on the fireplace quite low,
Hoping Ayios Vasilis would bring some poto.
Patera in his krevati was snoring pretty hard,
Tired from stealing the tree from
our malaka neighbours’ yard.
Mama was in the basement cooking like a nikokira,
adding just enough lemon to her fresh made horta.
When the thorivo came from outside the porta,
Baba yelled from his room “ela mesa re malaka”.
The knocking on the door, such a rude, loud barage ,
I yelled through the window
“It’s a Greek house re malaka, come in through the garage!”
Then, standing in the garage right next to my car,
was my drunk thio Mitso coming home from the bar.
“Ainde kimisou methismene” I told him with might,
“you’ll ruin my chances of seeing Ayio Vasilis tonight”.
About two hours later I heard a noise down the stair,
I jumped from my krevati to see who was there.
Standing by the tree eating leftover fakkes,
Was Ayios Vasilis reeking of tsiporo no less.
He was all dressed in red and as big as an ox,
Wearing brown “pandofles” along with black socks.
Smelling like a katsiki with a touch of “Old Spice”,
He’d been drinking for days and smelled not very nice.
He was putting the presents out under the tree,
They were wrapped like skata, it was quite plain to see.
Vrakyia & 6 kaltses from Myer for me,
and 12 for my brother cuz he’s only 3.
This Santa was paraxenos, nothing like the fable,
Before leaving he stole my tsigara from the table.
I yelled “Eh, Ay’ Vasili, ti kaneis ekie?”
and he turned and he threw his “pandofla” at me.
The look in his eyes was nothing but fright,
He said “fiye apo tho, re malaka” and dashed out of sight.
And he called to his reindeer, and called them by name
I knew they were not the same animals from “Jingle Bell” fame..
“Ela Mitso, Sotiri, ke Nektario,
Yianni kai Taki, Thanasi kai Yiorgo…”
“Ainde grigora na pao ya katourima”,
and he yelled as he went “KALA XRISTOUYENNA“.