Sarcastic Sayings

1. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
4. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
5. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
9. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
13. Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like ‘The Force’. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

– source Demonicious

POTD: Awesome key abusers

You’ve seen the awesome key – now see the keyboard for the abusers of the awesome key.

POTD: Awesome key!

Yup, that’s the AWESOME key alright, favoured by commenters 🙂 [via Funtasticus]

POTD: Wikipedia High

Obviously Wikipedia has all the answers! [via Funtasticus]

VOTD: Front-wheel drive WIN

This woman is so upset about her SUV being towed away that she gets into her car and drives off, pulling the tow-truck behind her! [via Damn Cool Pics]

POTD: Mother-in-law remote

Simple, one-touch function

[via The Chive]

Product of the day: Comfort Wipe

So, this is what the Comfort Wipe looks like - it extends your arm a full 18 inches!

Now I’ve seen a number of very strange infomercials in my time but this has got to be one of the strangest ones.

In short it’s a product for people to wipe themselves with after doing their business without touching themselves with their hands (or like normal people do, with the toilet paper, yes I know many countries use bidets).

Take a look at the video below.

Where do they get actors who can deliver those lines with such straight faces? They should definitely have something like the Oscar’s for best infomercial actor.

Now here’s the kicker. I’m always skeptical about commercials like these so I sniffed around (cough) and came up with a post on Cracked where this guy was also a bit dubious about the product’s authenticity and called the number. Imagine his amazement when he got connected to a real person on the other side for that very product.

You have got to read the whole transcript – I was in tears (stifiling my laughter so as not to wake the kids!). [via 2oceansvibe]

Update 20 June 2009 – it appears the product didn’t make it as the commercial was just a test run to gauge consumer interest [via NYMag]

VOTD: Post-it note stop-motion animation

Here’s a pretty cool looking stop-motion animation clip done with a guy at his desk with a deadline to meet. This whole process took 3 months of planning, 4 days of shooting and over 6000 post-it notes. Enjoy. [via zefrank]

This is my senior project at Savannah College of Art and Design. Where my idea comes from is that every time when I am busy, I feel that I am not fighting with my works, I am fighting with those post-it notes and deadline. I manipulating the post-it notes to do pixel-like stop motion and there are some interactions between real actor and post-its.

Here is the making of video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArJYvaCCB3cDirected by Bang-yao Liu
Music by Röyksopp (http://royksopp.com)
Sound design by Shaun Burdick

VOTD: Literal Music Videos

I’m sure you’ve seen one or two of these before, you know where you wish they sang about what was actually happening in the music video – especially A-Ha’s Take On Me literal video.

I found these other ones that I just had to share with you. I just watched the Bonnie Tyler Total Eclipse Of The Heart literal video and thoroughly enjoyed it – hope you do too. [via UtterInsanity]

Bonnie Tyler – Total Eclipse Of The Heart

A-Ha – Take On Me

Red Hot Chilli Peppers – Under The Bridge

Bill Idol – White Wedding

Rick Ashley – Never Gonna Give You Up

Starship – We Built This City

Slightly different – this video clip tries to depict the actual lyrics of the song – not what went on in the original music video.

A literal take on ‘Video Killed the Radio Star’, by the Buggles.

This was made for Leeds Student Television (ls:tv), and won a National Student Television Award (NaSTA) in 2007.

Also a little different – someone’s own rendition of James Blunt’s music video for Beautiful – classic!

For more check out DustFilms Literal Videos and these search results on YouTube.

VOTD: The Vendor-Client Relationship

Real-world situations where the client makes unrealistic and unreasonable expectations from the vendor they’re using – so, so true! [via StevenMcD]